Me and my dad get kidnapped by the Russian mafia.". Appropriately titled The Machine, the film features Kreischer playing himself, as he returns to Russia years after his college years, only to see that his actions on that fateful night have led to dire consequences, namely the creation of a ruthless crime syndicate. Bert Kreischer. I didnt tell people for a number of reasons: Its a long story, and number two, it wasnt at the top of my radar. The storys not thought out. It doesnt mean what you think it means. It means exactly what you think it means. In fact, he admitted that he becomes "so bored" if he witnesses a comic performing "the same prepared set night after night." [13] This became the basis for the 2002 film National Lampoon's Van Wilder, starring Ryan Reynolds. Things involving Bert Kreischer can take on a mythic quality. Albert Kreischer Jr. was born November 3, 1972, in St. Petersburg, Florida,[11] and raised in Tampa. Irina tells the story completely straight-faced, none of it being played for laughs (while also giving a brief tease of Mark Hamill's character) until we see the man that she's talking to is none other than Bert Kreischer, who comes to the realization that he is Irina's origin story. Its such a great joke. It took five years, but he finally filmed the story as part of his 2016 Showtime special titled, you guessed it, The Machine. That doesn't stop the famed comedian, as after he's dropped off at the nearest urgent care, Kreischer lets audiences everywhere know that The Machine will be making its way exclusively in theaters on Thursday, May 25th, just before Memorial Day Weekend. Bert Kreischer (born November 3, 1972), nicknamed " The Machine ", [2] is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, reality television host and actor. So the machine story being a perfect example that was a story that happened to me in 1995, and I just did not tell people. Oh, how right she is. he recalled. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. "You can't relax, you can't be by yourself, and now you've created this TV show so that you neither relax nor be by yourself,"she tells him. TikToks Favorite Celebrity Couple Is Kim Kardashian and Michael Cera. As he toldThe Laugh Button, "I don't trust people who frame their life in an Instagram or Facebook propaganda kind of way. Cameras & Photo; Clothing, Shoes & Accessories; Toys & Hobbies; Seller feedback . Eventually, "the development deal falls apart with Oliver Stone," so the writers working on scripts "get their intellectual property back," he explained. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. And then shes angry at me, and I actually know shes talking to me. "[4] On Joe Rogan's podcast, Kreischer talked about how National Lampoon executives confirmed to him that he was the basis for the film. "I sold the movie because I went into a room and I was talking to this guy and he said, 'What movie would you want to make?'" Things you buy through our links may earnVox Mediaa commission. Breaking down the contenders in the seasons most unpredictable Oscar race. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. That is who I was. Open comments. Here is the OFFICIAL trailer for #TheMACHINEmovie. Weve paid them to stay with us. Enter For A Chance To Win Tickets To See Blink 182! [9][15][34] While in New York Kreischer attended open mics hosted by TV producer DJ Nash that were also attended by the likes of Demetri Martin, Bobby Kelly and Jim Norton. Do not talk to them. 'The Machine': Cast, Trailer, Plot, and Everything We Know So Far, Movies Like 'The Big Lebowski' For More Laid-Back Action Comedy, Man, Jimmy Tatro Talks 22 JUMP STREET, How He Joined the Film, His Relationship with the Other Characters, Fauxhawks, His YouTube Series & His College Fanbase, The Kevin Costner Funded Film that Tanked at the Box Office, Jack Nicholson's 10 Best Movies, Ranked by Rotten Tomatoes, Why Sylvester Stallone Isn't in 'Creed III'. And Im still laughing every now and then. The official synopsis reads as follows: Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia. Bert: We should get a bunch of kid sized real-dolls on this set. Tap into Getty Images' global scale, data-driven insights, and network of more than 340,000 creators to create content exclusively for your brand. But Im from Florida. And the cops were like, Hold on, arrest him! And I was like, Its not here, you idiot. I definitely cant do what Drew Michaels does at all. And so that's the kind of dad that I am." [23] That same year one of his stories appeared on an episode of the animated Comedy Central series Shorties Watchin' Shorties. This is the story about the time I robbed a train in Russia with the Russian Mafia. Which is an interesting pivot when you become a comedian, as a guy who never told his own story, but the stories were told about him. Speak about that agenda. You've seen him on Netflix, now see him live at the Cross Insurance Center! Kreischer is very much the star of the show here, but being his first feature film, he'll likely be happy to have a strong supporting cast join him. He is not afraid to really put himself out there As a client, he is a true force of nature with unparalleled work ethic and determination. I used to try to keep that in the story because I thought it was great. Dont party with them. Because I already knew that day. The exciting short concludes with Kreischer signing off by saying "See you at the movies" before going inside to get his foot looked at. Bert Kreischer first came to public attention at age 24, when he was still in college. Bert Kreischer isn't the only successful podcaster in his family. Loving,"he replied. Click videos. Can Anyone Predict Whos Going to Win Best Supporting Actress? As Kreischer tells it in his 2016 stand-up act, he unwittingly got involved with the Russian mafia while on a study-abroad trip in college. Privacy Policy and You can read some excerpts from the transcript or listen to the full episode below. The footage opens up with clips from Kreischer's aforementioned viral stand-up routine, before providing a bit more footage of the flashback sequence where the comedian's descent into the world of Russian crime began. Ever since, Kreischers career and life have been forever changed, taking him from a struggling comic to selling out clubs to selling out large theaters, and more recently, large drive-in tours. Like. [4] Kreischer has served as host of the television series Hurt Bert on FX as well as Bert the Conqueror and Trip Flip on Travel Channel. And I remember saying, Hey man, remember, people get bothered by what we do. So part of you is like, Hey, Im not that bad, am I? [5][16] When he was featured on Bert the Conqueror, Kreischer traveled to amusement parks and other entertainment venues across the United States in order to experience thrilling rides and activities. Years after first telling his Russian mob story onstage, Bert Kreischer's most infamous stand-up bit is getting turned into a movie. Lets go to a bar and hang out. And mom and dad want to go to the bar and hang out, but theyre not allowed to. The bullet points are:Kreischer accidentally studied Russian in college (mistakenly thinking was taking Spanish); he travelled to Russia as part of a class trip; he wound up being befriended my members of the Russian mob, who nicknamed him "The Machine" for his ability to drink anyone under the table; his inadvertent underworld connections led him to become complicit in a mob-orchestrated train robbery. Photo: Vulture and FilmMagic Things involving Bert Kreischer can take on a mythic quality. [28], In 2015 he appeared on Comedy Central's comedy storytelling series This Is Not Happening. He "knew without a doubt in that instant"that she was the one, before adding, "Iwould've never done that for her.". [14] Kreischer worked the door at the now-defunct Boston Comedy Club. Aidan Kelley is a senior resource writer for Collider, as well as an independent filmmaker and lover of all things cinema. I am sorry. Watch Now on Netflix Bertcast # 560 - The Legion of Skanks Christen the New Studio Official Bert Kreischer Merchandise VISIT THE OFFICIAL BERT KREISCHER ONLINE STORE TO VIEW ALL MERCHANDISE Currently, between Kreischers Facebook and YouTube, The Machine has over 70 million views, but that doesnt count the views across the many content aggregators who have reposted the clip. Its at my house! I would enjoy it. I mean, so uncomfortable that it would make my blood boil. And they do the same to me.". And the way it had set up is, we had already all got our rooms and their room was right next door to mine like literally next door to mine, and across the hall from the teacher who had been passing me through all my classes. Oh, Loosey! The opening and closing credits list the name as "Bert Kreischer", the correct spelling is "Burnt Crystals". Bert Kreischer: The Undergraduate It has taken the Florida State University student six years to become the man he is today: the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country By. Hell. Sony Pictures has released a new red band trailer for The Machine, a film that adapts comedian Bert Kreischer's real-life story about an encounter with the Russian mafia. The chaos didn't end there. Naturally, none of that happens. The full list of credited producers and executive producers includes Maxim Ajjawi, Peter Atencio, Cale Boyter, Jonathan English, Natalie Haack Flores, Judi Marmel, Reg Tigerman, Valerie Flueger Veras, Philip Waley, and Sergey Yahontov. he pondered in horror. You can grab your tickets NOW for May 25th with a special LIVE pre show at TheMachine.Movie. I then got into a business where I realized if you werent telling your own stories, no one was listening. The two disgraced men have both been sentenced for sex crimes. "[3] The article also served as inspiration for the 2002 film National Lampoon's Van Wilder. The best musical instrument is a love triangle. It wasnt until I did Loveline with Dr. Drew and they were auditioning guest hosts, someone in my class called Loveline and said, Hey, why dont you tell me about the time you robbed us in Russia? And I said, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.. I knew all that detail. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Filming began in Serbia in April 2021 through Balkanic Media. Kreischer's wife,Decider's review described, busts him on what he'sreallyup to when they talk on FaceTime. "So I show up on set, and it's a real grizzly bear,"he explained. Bert Kreischer (born November 3, 1972), nicknamed "The Machine",[2] is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, reality television host and actor. In an interview withHaute Living, Kreischer who is a producer on the project said he'd just seen a script. "I might have to take it!". The bear's trainer told Kreischer to place a marshmallow in his mouth and "casually" display it so the bear would eat it from his mouth, in order to form trust. [9][10], Principal photography on the film began in Serbia in April 2021 through Balkanic Media. After trying out that format for awhile, he'd "taped a bunch and couldn't get one that I liked. I only saw one (I think he implied more though). To find out more, keep on reading to discover the untold truth of Bert Kreischer. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. Do not hang out with them. In August 2018, Kreischer released Bert Kreischer: Secret Time on Netflix, Filming took place in Philadelphia. His most recent stand up special 'Hey Big Boy,' as well as 'Secret Time' and 'The Machine' are currently streaming globally on NETFLIX. "She was the only woman in there and we ended up having a blast and we kissed and the rest is history," he said. Ill just say, a lot of my friends were bothered by Nanette. I remember feeling like you were right a little bit. There was a truth to it, and I didnt want that truth to be real. Described as having a 'rare and incredible talent' (Interrobang), Bert has evolved from being named Rolling Stone's 1997 'Number One Partier in the . The film is well into the post-production phase but not a lot of details have been revealed just yet. To celebrate his 50th birthday and the anniversary of the Machine story, Bert Kreischer posted the first teaser trailer for The Machine on his personal YouTube channel. Kreischer stole a pocket watch so sentimental to the then-legitimate businessman, it inspired the man to become the leader of a crime family the likes of which Russia had never seen, becoming feared and respected throughout the country. That can be seen in the promotional efforts for his various projects, be they his podcast or standup specials or comedy tours. All these guys with these dick jokes and these un-woke jokes The new future of comedy is, Have an agenda. Following its viral success, Legendary Entertainment acquired the rights of Kreischer's true story stand-up routine into a feature film adaptation in September 2019. And just like that, a legend was born. But I started caring. [3][4] From the Rolling Stone article director Oliver Stone optioned the rights to Kreischer's life. Just going through life, having fun, doing crazy stuff. Kreischer declared that his preference lies with "comics like Janeane Garofalo who is very stream of conscious in an honest way. Again. He said his surgery was a success, but he needs time to heal before he can tour again. [3] Kreischer majored in English and was a member of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity. Bert Kreischer, however, prefers to be as unprepared as possible before confronting an audience. *Sorry, there was a problem signing you up. Taking that one step further, Kreischer admitted, "I'll trash my family to let you know how much I love them. Now that Meredith is gone, it is business as usual at Grey Sloan Memorial. "Let me guess, you've invited some people up there, haven't you?" Get those people with that agenda to come to your shows. I stumbled upon these while reading the comments on the video, and saw where his classmate posted these and yet again confirmed the story is actually true. "Legendary Lands Rights to Bert Kreischer's Viral Story 'The Machine' (EXCLUSIVE)", "Mark Hamill Joins Bert Kreischer In Legendary's 'The Machine' Based on Kreischer's Viral Story", "Mark Hamill, Comedian Bert Kreischer to Star in 'The Machine' for Legendary", "Peter Atencio To Direct Legendary's 'The Machine' Starring Bert Kreischer", "Jess Gabor Joins Legendary's 'The Machine' Starring Bert Kreischer and Mark Hamill", "Stephanie Kurtzuba Joins Legendary's 'The Machine' Starring Bert Kreischer", "Mercedes De La Cruz Joins Legendary's 'The Machine' Starring Bert Kreischer", "Mark Hamill To Star In Movie About Bert Kreischer's Viral "The Machine" Story", "Joseph Trapanese Scoring Peter Atencio's, "Sony Dates Legendary Pictures' Bert Kreischer Pic, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Machine_(2023_film)&oldid=1142594306, All Wikipedia articles written in American English, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, Jessica Gabor as Georgia Kreischer, Berts eldest daughter, This page was last edited on 3 March 2023, at 08:16. [24], As a stand-up comedian Kreischer has performed internationally and has appeared on late night talk shows Late Show with David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel Live and Conan. The magic alchemy of good timing took over (it was the week between Christmas and New Years), and the joke went viral like few ever had. Follow. Go to Bert's Facebook fan page. In October 2020, Bert Kreischer unveiled a new Netflix series,The Cabin. Sorry if these are a re-upload, but they're cool. Collect, curate and comment on your files. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. This page was last edited on 1 March 2023, at 02:26. I was the guy who, when youd sit at a party, theyd be like, Oh my God, did you hear about the time Bert shit on a pizza box? Or Did you hear about the time that Bert climbed to the top of the telephone pole and yelled, I have marijuana! and there were like a thousand kids? I'm sure. When he was working on his special Secret Time,he said he began "talking about my family no holds barred,"and revealed he had to "clear"his routines with them ahead of time. He. Password must be at least 8 characters and contain: As part of your account, youll receive occasional updates and offers from New York, which you can opt out of anytime. Bert Kreischer and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia. But that for me was All of a sudden, when the adventure started is when she did that. Most post Ive seen of this photo are when Bert is referencing partying while going to Florida State. Stand-up comedian Bert Kreischer is taking serious action with the release of his upcoming movie The Machine, based on his 2016 stand-up special of the same name. Search instead in Creative? "Fast-living comic Bert Kreischer heads to a cabin for some self-care and invites his funny friends to join his quest to cleanse his mind, body, and soul,"described Netflix in its synopsis. With the recent uptick in the popularity of stand-up comedy, mainly thanks to it being more accessible than ever because of streaming, one of the biggest names to get popularized and celebrated is Bert Kreischer. Literally across the hall from her and next door to me. That doesnt just include the stories he tells in his stand-up, like the time he got involved with the Russian mafia, but the stories behind those stories. For anyone just catching . Check out the video in the player above to hear the story in Kreischer's own words. Mediocre. I released the next episodes with me interviewing comedians and they were so high on the charts I thought I should keep doing it.". It just so happened that one of the girls who was on the trip with him saw the internet clip and verified it was true, just as it started trending, which I believe gave it an even bigger boost. [3][4][12] Later that same year Kreischer became the focus of a six-page article in Rolling Stone who named him "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country. Enter To Win A Pair Of Tickets To See Guns N Roses! Kreischer produces and hosts Bertcast, a weekly comedy podcast on the All Things Comedy network. . "So Oliver Stone optioned the rights to my life, from the article," said Kreischer. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. SaxMan00 18 days ago I was at a show of his once, and he told the audience about this woman and said she had pictures of Russia. We did it, it was so funny and got so many downloads the first day. [19][21][22], In 2004 Kreischer was featured along with four other comedians on the DVD release National Lampoon Live: New Faces Volume 2. Another legendary standup routine from Bert Kreischer is what's come to be known as "The Machine." I'm afraid to make the movie 'cause I'm afraid if I made the movie, the Russian mob wouldn't like it and they'd kidnap me. Kreischer noted he owed it all to fellow comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan, who had heard him tell the story and encouraged him to include it in his act. [5][6][7][8][9] He is slated to appear in The Machine, a comedy film based on his life.[10]. I was a kid who was interested in partying. "I said, 'Obviously, if I could make one movie, it's 'The Machine.' Easily his most famous story is how he got his nickname "The Machine" while on a college field trip to Russia and the bit has become so legendary that Kreischer decided it was time for that story to get adapted into a feature film. RUSSIAN Reacts to "THE MACHINE" by BERT KREISCHER Zangieff Reacts 1.74K subscribers Subscribe 1K 19K views 1 year ago I hope you enjoyed the video, guys, I think it was entertaining. I mean, she was my age, roughly. French Guiana, French Polynesia, Guadeloupe, Libya, Martinique, New Caledonia, Reunion, Russian Federation, Ukraine, Venezuela . Shop Bert Kreischer Russia Hoodies and Sweatshirts designed and sold by artists for men, women, and everyone. [32], Kreischer has also been a guest on podcasts such as WTF with Marc Maron, Doug Benson's Doug Loves Movies, H3 Podcast, Your Mom's House and The Joe Rogan Experience. Sony Pictures has officially set . I didnt want people to read it. Get personalized recommendations, and learn where to watch across hundreds of streaming providers. ", Kreischer never saw a dime fromVan Wilder, although being portrayed onscreen by Ryan Reynolds must have been flattering. Set 23 years after the original story which inspired it, The Machine finds Bert (Kreischer) facing familial crisis and the arrival of his father (Hamill) when the ghost of his booze-soaked past. [3] The magazine named Kreischer "the top partyer at the Number One Party School in the country. Thats the other part: When she was yelling, I think she was actually speaking to Bert Kreischer. Go to TheMachine.Movie for updates about #THEMACHINEMOVIE Show more Show more Shop the Bert Kreischer. Along with his live performances and standup comedy specials 2016'sThe Machine, 2018's Secret Time and2020'sHey Big Boy Bert Kreischer is also something of a podcast pioneer, introducing hisBertcastpodcast in 2012. Luckily, Kreischer's future wife LeeAnn was on the set, and placed a marshmallow in her mouth to distract the bear so Kreischer could be dragged to safety. [8] In June 2021, Mercedes De La Cruz and Jimmy Tatro cast in the film. [13] When the development deal with Oliver Stone fell through, all the scripts that were submitted went back to their writers. Hes dangerous, hes terrifying, hes an extra in, How to Watch the 2023 Oscars Celebrate All 23 Categories Live Again. Sold.' [18][17][14][21] The story revolves around how he inadvertently helped the Russian mafia rob a train while on a college trip to Russia. It all started for Kreischer during his college years all six-and-a-half of them when hisAnimal House-style partying and legendary frat-house antics captured the attention ofRolling Stone magazine. In an interview withFatherly, Kreischer was asked to describe himself as a father in three words. Club, Bert shared that he was less of a relationship guy and more of a "went to a bar, got drunk, and then hooked up" guy before LeeAnn entered into his life. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. I can put my finger on that. So the machine story was not a story I ever would tell onstage. Free shipping for many products! [7][10][11], On February 15, 2022, Joseph Trapanese was announced to composed the film's original score. The Machine is produced by Shaken Not Stirred and Balkanic Media. When he ran for president of his college fraternity, he gave his campaign speech naked, declaring he"had nothing to hide. Hamill is reportedly playing an exaggerated version of Bert's father, Albert Kreischer. "[3][5] Titled "Bert Kreischer: The Undergraduate," the article recounted Kreischer's party hijinks, which included bouts of heavy drinking and public nudity. "I swear to you, there were people jumping out of windows.". Sometimes I look over notes. During an appearance on Conan, Kreischer was asked why he hits the stage shirtless. Access the best of Getty Images with our simple subscription plan. The plane ride was when I found out were paying off the Mafia. [5][18][27], In 2009 his first comedy special Bert Kreischer: Comfortably Dumb appeared on Comedy Central. By what name was The Machine (2023) officially released in Canada in English? Find ratings and reviews for the newest movie and TV shows. Enter For A Chance To Win Devotion On BluRay! When he first conceived of theBertcast, however, Kreischer had a more innovative concept in mind. But I think Nanette was such a lightning rod for all of us because you watched it and you said, Im not laughing, but Im still listening very attentively. Watch the full interview via the player at the top of this page! We go, You dont have to watch it if its not for you. That also applies to what we watch. By the way, in that special, Hannah Gadsby had one of my favorite jokes of the whole year when she said, When I was a kid growing up, I knew more facts about unicorns than I did homosexuals. Youve got some Janning to do! After Dax Shepard asked her about her musical chairs relationship situation. I'm not one of those dads.". Not only that, but they dont even know who the fuck I am. "It's mind-blowing. I already knew they were in the mob and that we had paid them off to keep us safe. So what I did is I mashed up that whole thing and just had the teacher introduce them as the Mafia. Kreischer unexpectedly formed a bond with the mobsters, saying the few words in Russian he actually knew, "I am the Machine". In fact, it wasbecausehe was still in college at 24, in his sixth year at Florida State, that he came to capture the attention of Rolling Stone for a 1997 feature focused on Kreischer's status as "the top partyer in the Number One Party School in the country. The Machine was a story Kreischer would tell at parties, backstage, or in meetings for years, but hed never do it onstage. The Wagner opera returns to the Met for the first time in 17 years. They're spending $24 million on this movie, and you see the sets and you see the amount of people working. When I got into comedy, I was so obsessed with writing material that seemed like it fit in. I didnt want to be the guy doing something different. Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.Bert's drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia. "My initial idea was going into hotels and having people interview me,"Kreischer told Vulture, under the belief that he's "a better guest than podcast host." The Machine is an upcoming American action comedy film directed by Peter Atencio inspired by the 2016 stand-up routine of the same name created by Bert Kreischer, who also stars as a fictionalized version of himself. Shop high-quality unique Bert Kreischer Russia T-Shirts designed and sold by independent artists. [3] On April 13, 2021, Peter Atencio was hired to directed and produced the film with Kreischer and Judi Marmel. I used to dive into the details of [how] I thought she was an adult. Organize, control, distribute and measure all of your digital content. Tune in to Good One every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Turns out the impromptu reunion with his dad are the least of Bert's problem, as Irina arrives to the comedian's home and kidnaps both him and his father. "I literally had to say to my daughters when I was doing the special, 'Hey, I need to stop this now or change this wording now, but I call you guys dumb as f**k in the special,'" Kreischer explained. Weve got romance, breakups, emotionally loaded dumplings this episode has a little bit of everything! [3] His mother worked in early childhood development and his father worked as a real-estate attorney. So in flashback scenes you see the young Bert and I got teary-eyed this is the dumbest thing to get teary-eyed but he introduced himself in the movie. I trust parents who are like, 'Oh, my kid's a f**king idiot.'