I am working full time now on maternity leave. I deeply sympathise with you. Obviously no financial support.and I am now questioning whether he is able to provide for me long term financially and emotionally. Praying, meditating are just BANDAIDS and will not help you in a concrete way to get the bum off his a** to do something about it. Please help.. I dont think he understands how depressed and alone I am feeling. Some have become involuntary breadwinners, straining to care for everyone and everything with one lone paycheck. Do it yourself. This man brings some happiness and reliefe in my life, i know its artificial but for those moments, i feel better, i laugh, i smile and I dont have to pay the bill for our lunch and drinks or the petrol/gas in his comfortable mercedes benz (car). I dont need to marry someone rich, honestly, Id be better off with a roommate! Daily knowledge to improve your marriage. Like some others have said, just having a rant about this has somewhat helped, and as I said at the beginning just reading about other similar stories certainly helps. Is this the life you want your family exposed to? How do I show support and encouragement to my boyfriend without him resenting me in the end? We have no kids because my husband is infertile. He cant even collect unemployment because due the the disability, he had no taxable income the year before. My husband was either under employed or un employed by choice most of our 25 years together. Oh yeah, Ive GOT a job but im the one looking in the ads so maybe I can get a better paying job and GET THE HELL out the house. Its very scary to make these decisions.. Its sometimes easier to just accept itand I suspect many of these lazy men are very unhappy with the women in their lives so they just stop caring about how all this affects their wives. I have been with my significant other for 16 yrs. Husband hasnt been serious about finding work and we are going to be homeless in less than 2-3 months. One thing I figured out long ago was to always be frugal through the prosperous times just in case it does not last, hope for the best- expect the worst. As far as working, the first few years werent too bad, he seemed to be trying to be better. I am truly exhausted. He has so much STUFF. What happens when you tell someone who has nothing that they dont even have a home any longer? Hard to pretend you are happy all the time. Maybe when I wake up, hell have a job. He became impatient since he got depression and sometime like a stranger to me. I have become very depressed and anxious thanks to him and this relationship and Im slowly starting to feel like it is my fault, not his. This isnt fair and not how I thought this relationship was going to works Plus he has destroyed my credit and savings! For 6 years I never complained, but it seems that I am not given that honor! It I made enough to support us all and have money for savings and extras I would be just fine with him doing his thing. Consider mowing the lawn yourself. ITs overwhelming. Giving all of you a big hug! Most of society accepted this and did not see this as somehow unfair in any way. Originally we both wanted me to be a stay at home mom, so my husband doesnt even want me to work anyway. If they do, cut them some slack; they probably have years of resentment built up. Fake interviews, youre overweight, they didnt like youblah blah blah are you kidding me?? find a marriage counselor. I am so frustrated with her attitude and lifestylei do not know what to do anymore! You sound like you have done more rhan enough for years ..please find the strength and courage to leave him. He's always done a few jobs around the house, such as putting out the bins and mowing the lawn, but I thought that when he finished work he'd naturally do a lot more of the household chores. I work 6 days a week only making $10 an hour. now almost 53, extremelely depressed, and unsocially unaccepted. My family and other friends are somewhat critical of the situation, thus we avoid them where possible. Take a vacation was the most absurd. I gave my now-husband an ultimatum before we got married. I feel for all the ladies that are the bread winners as the husbands get to a stage that they just give up as they cannot get work. Hes tried for everything from minimum wage to whatever else is available. This point in history does not appear to be good for men? Hes gaining weight and we have no sex life. They think they need to get a job that they like or that they want to do. I understand how you suffer long term; and how disappointed you feel about your partner. My husband is a frugal guy, so he finds all kinds of ways for us to save money. He has no money whilst waiting to hear from them and Im having to pay for all the bills with my money/savings. We found out I was pregnant 4 months ago I was a cocktail waitress so I recently had to quit I feel bad bc he has to pay all of my bills. If possible, go away with kiddo for a week or three. Now our two boys are 4.5 and 3 year old and in full time daycare. FYI the law wont help women. ALOT. "So I sort of knew that things were going to fall apart if I didn't hold them together. If they can not find a senior job/white collar work, they are insulted. Then there was his second wind, his revival. Been married 20+ years and he has worked for about 6 months out of all that time. On the other end, maybe the hiring manager liked your partner and wanted to spare them from working in a less than ideal environment for a horrible boss, maybe the hiring manager believed that the job would be beneath your partner (as though that was actually the hiring managers decision.) Now, dont get me wrong, I am all about improving skills. I told him this the same day that August 1 was my last day and this gives him six months to find a job. $30,000? Its nice to see i am not the only woman dealing with with this. My partner of ten years walked out of her job two years ago without finding another job first. No way would you ever sign up for that if the guy was truthful to you In the first place. I have no words to describemy husband is unemployed (and has been for nearly 4 years) and it has been the hardest thing ever! After retirement, living 24/7 with inactive husband will be scary! Though he is kind, caring, and considerate, he lacked the necessary survival skills. About 4 weeks after surgery, she .. went back to work fulltime. Hell survivehes not a child. How much longer do I wait before I can start living life for myself a little? I posted on here for the first time in 2012 when I had already been supporting my boyfriend for about a year. He is STILL UNEMPLOYED and has been so since April of this year. I dont know what to do anymore. Not one interview. I hope by December 2016 her cancer is under control. My husband has been in and out of jobs since I been with him and my mother always told me something was not right because of this, but I would always defend the fact that he would come across so much bad luck and how he is smart he has a degree he is an ex football player we will be okay but it just never did. I relate to Y, H, Emma, and so many others of you. However, another part of the confidence stems from the support you have from your partner. Me too. We put on a great facade. I feel stuck and angry. We increasingly fight and I have turned into a caustic nag seething with stress and resentment. I hope your situation now gets better. I still go out once in awhile, but I mostly just work. He had money saved up and he is in a great position, but it kills me knowing he is dipping into his savings to support me. Hes already made it clear that if I move back with my parents it would be a step backwards in our relationship So Ill save myself the embarrassment of being dumped and unemployed. Job hunting has basically become my full time job (besides my non-related job) and I am a very determined person. I have a Degree with 2 masters, I have worked all over the UK and US, but I have no job! I also put up with it because I made a commitment and I dont want to give up easily. Finally, after hounding a factory and practically begging them to give him a job, they put him on. My fiance.. Has been unemployed for 3 and half years.. Do you have beliefs about who should be doing what chores? I can totally relate how you feel! Im not hoping or expecting to do nothing around the house I just wish he would make more of an effort. He barely spoke aside from venting about how much he hated it and how he really didnt want to be here. luckily when hed go on one of these tirades few (if any people) were in the kitchen to notice. I think that is part of the problem, we feel so alone as I imagine, like myself, no one else you actually know is going through a similar situation. First it was an industry crisis. So I keep asking, what did we, as women really gain? I dont know if he will make a good father, if I will ever get back to uni, if he will ever be able to hold down even the simplest of jobs. I dont mean you should put up to to such extreme situation but just let you know there are sometime magic can happen inside our human being. Why is this my problem! I feel like an idiot, I am smart I swear, I just dont seem to know how to get out of this. He just sat on his butt and kept saying, I just want to work! but he needs to bring in some kind of money NOW. I have and its worse now than it was then. Its hard and we have children not an easy answer. I can and have used public transportation to get to interviews before but a lot of times it wasnt reliable and kind of made a stressful and anxious situation even worse. He lays in bed all day watching Youtube or Netflix. After retirement, living 24/7 with inactive husband will be scary! He wanted to start up a business but i wasnt willing to put lots of money into a new venture. The coarseness of her attitude is misleading. I bought a nice house based on two incomes, so that he could have his damned man cave , and I cant handle the expenses anymore. I thought I was alone. Im just feeling too eaxausted to keep this up. Trying to make you feel bad before you have enough time to think about that statement. My worst fears confirmed, that never happened. My husband has been unemployed for two years. But I got myself out of the situation and now my son and I are good. We are very similar praying for you Chris. There's nothing to talk about. She demands me to pay;my rent! Worst of all, as much as I try to hide how I feel, she cant help but know how dissapointed I am in her! I asked him once if we divorce, what is he going to do ? Communicate to one another about what your priorities are when it comes to household chores. Therefore, understand his capabilities and begin with a little at a time. What about those of us who were forced out of work due to injuries? My work is suffering because Imeexhausted and irritable, and Im struggling to get up each day and go to work. I dont want to even be with him in this life anymore. Filing for a divorce. Ive grown extremely bitter & have become angry towards everyone around me, including people at work. So I just dont really know what to do anymore. How am I going to afford a poor little baby? He takes out the trash maybe once a week, but that's it. All he needs is a foot in the door. Now Ive been threatened with divorce and he has become emotionally and physically abusive. I do not know how much longer I can hold on.I am thinking of divorce almost everyday! She has a problem with anxiety and depression and the job she had and loved decided to automate all the duties that she wanted to do during her work day. Here are the 5 common reasons that may be why your husband doesn't help around the house and what you can do to change that. Husband off work for 14 years, two kids later..still no job. In reality, youve created the expectation that youll bear the burden and have established that role in the relationship. I do not love him anymore, or trust, or respect or confide in him. Like the illness defines me. We are lucky that we have an income from renting out a flat, however that was meant to be savings to be able to buy a house and for our wedding but it disappears each month along with my whole salary. There a Taiwan famous writer he was put in jail many many years ago for political reason. Not to mention the wounds caused by her burnt skin. Whether you're the emotional laboring spouse or the slacker, marriage therapists have some tips for you.