5 SIGNS YOUR EX IS IN ONE & WHY THEY FAIL - Natasha Adamo Your biological child. Dont ever sleep with someone mean or stupid, because if you get pregnant, youre going to be tied to that person for the rest of your childs life. And I was like, Ewww, Mom, thats gross! But it was great advice, and Ive always followed it. The you made your choice when you had sex argument goes both ways. But, in that case as well I would have told the woman to make sure in the future she better protected herself. Its always someone elses fault. Your are putting words into peoples mouths. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt.! All I could think about when I read this letter was what an awful situation that child is going to be exposed to, through no fault of his/her own. Francine The key if you do decide to engage- keep it as civil and reasoned as possible. Theyre young but are certain that theyll be together forever. Chuck Pelto We judge people all the time where our judgment has absolutely no effect on the outcome, we arent participants in the issue and no one gives a crap what we think. I dont have a problem with that. You have a lot of personal issues to deal with, little boy. The father would divorce himself from the child and any obligations to the mother. Heartbroken People Share Ludicrous Ways They've Been Dumped The dream is a signal for your quest for power. A forty-year-old man knows exactly how women get pregnant and how to avoid that if he absolutely doesnt want a baby. Its not exactly the same by any means, but similar enough for me to have thought it. Of. Dr. Sherry. Why are you standing up for mens right to bang a chick they have known two minutes without a condom and have no consequences for THEIR actions. Respect her decision. the thing is, he has a 4 yr old daughter. Addie Pray Freeze your sperm and get a vasectomy. Regardless of whether or not he wants to stay with this women he impregnanted, do NOT stay with him yourself! If the baby mama wants to keep the baby, its her decision. Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. My boyfriend got a girl pregnant during a breakup. What should - Quora You dont honestly believe that logic that applies to one situation should be applied to all situations, do you? ESSENCE.com is part of ESSENCE Communications, Inc. Thanks. The baby will be due right in the middle of the semester. And they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. Abortion and adoption are both horrifying thoughts to Susie but she has no choice. You are too funny John. He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby. Bless her heart. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. 10. FYI first time posting but long time reader. Any male after the onset of puberty can make a baby. Give him another chance. Or until we decide to start a family.. Well, its possible that he didnt know her at all, but then after coitus he began to get to know her and things went downhill from there. MOA, ASAP. Have you ever seen an episode of the Maury show or any other talk drama show? or if shes just done too many drugs or something and her brain is rotting away. Blowjobs are a practice in breath holding and gag reflex control, and my jaw ends up hurting pretty badly if I do it for long enough. Yes, he could have done worse by refusing to pay child support and not wanting to be in the child s life or being an alcoholic abusive parent, or what have you. April 9, 2012, 1:00 pm. Both have to accept responsibility for that. By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. bittergaymark Out of all the cries of sexism being thrown back and forth, that to me truly is sexist, assuming that a mother cannot raise a well-adjusted child by herself. You sound like one of those pro-lifers who are always compelling women to do things against their will. Hi guyssssss,I wanted to share a storytime video with you guys since it has a lot to do with the reason I moved to LA and a lot to do with who I am today!Sid. This is the set up for some serious melodrama. Inc. Lee's Summit MO. April 10, 2012, 5:06 am, Still, itd be nice if so many women werent so often so shamelessly dishonest about this, wouldnt it? Yes, he had unprotected sex. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . I make no exception for men or women. Im pretty surprised by some of the stances shes made on this thread and I do enjoy and almost always agree with her comments. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. In a feature I call Your Turn, in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, Im presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. female female So, therefore, Im not so sure what you are finding so hard to get over about him, and why do you let him keep coming back into your life? I try t,o help because I remember when I was young. The laws are unfair because they arent designed to be fair to the PARENTS- theyre designed to work in the best interest of the innocent child that didnt choose to be born. Sounds like he found something easy, and easy cost a lot.money and happiness. So, really, I guess I disagree with the majority of the comments here. Its still good advice if the letter his fake, actually, since there certainly are people in this situation. Youre asking them to have a medical procedure and abort their unborn child. well, then Id run screaming the other way. And to the LW your boyfriend is not the victim in all of this. having sex with someone you dont know that well. April 10, 2012, 7:10 pm. The law does not say men need to be financially responsible if the woman decides he should be. He has a choice he can be a father and split the responsibility with the mother instead of forcing her to have sole responsibility. 1. Because, you dont know the other person you dont if they remember to take their pill on time, if they forget pills for days at a time, if they are taking antibiotics, or if youre just one of the unlucky small small percentage that gets pregnant while taking the pill. April 10, 2012, 8:54 pm. Exactly, so if knowing this you still choose to proceed with anything that could result in a pregnancy you have no one to blame but yourself if you become a parent. hamster van beethoven But it doesnt matter what you think of her or her decision to carry your boyfriends baby. Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. He does nothing about the situation and when I try to talk about it, we never resolve the issue; he just says Im right but does nothing about it because she continues to do it. Do you want to talk about how a baby is made? The primary relationship in someones life is allowed to (and should) remain the primary relationship, even after the later appearance of children. I get what youre saying. Whos the daddy? April 10, 2012, 6:34 pm. anyway, well, I've been discovering that I found out she's pregnant by someone last oct that she met. April 10, 2012, 10:34 am. Or, she may have seemed supportive during the relationship, but . Hes scum, no one in their right mind is going to want to stay with him. If the woman is not required to support a child I know you have to keep the possibility in the back of your mind, but youve really been ready and willing for motherhood every time youve decided to sleep with someone? The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. And realize that when you have sex, you could very well get someone pregnant. Thats all I can really offer. Besides, he made that choice a long time ago when you broke up the first time. Again, not unusual, and since the LW and the guy were broken up, the LW has no claim to what the guy could do after the breakup. Adoptive parents are as capable as any others of deciding that having a child isnt right for them, that they werent as prepared for it as they thought, and that the child isnt really theirs, and theyre as likely to have other major negative events in their lives as anyone. My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back Wow..two mintueswhen did he realize he couldnt stand her before or after the two minutes? But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). We have been broken up for a few months but have remained friends and in contact. Its unfortunate that he may potentially be a life-long relationship as parents with this woman, in addition to the legal responsibilities for the child, but any 40 year old man knows that is a potential risk. Its biology. Part of the agreement was they he was to never have any contact with the child. Typical female (notice I didnt use the word woman, because she isnt grown up enough to be one) wants to control every man and every bank account around her. Your choice. The pull out method? female Of course it is, but we have no way of knowing that the other woman was lying about that. I do plan to stay on my birth control because having a period every month doesnt sound like loads of fun after only having 4 a year for so long. lol. Regret can feel even worse than heartbreak. Jimmy and Susie are in love. The fact that he doesnt means hes no good for either of you. April 10, 2012, 9:36 am. Let this be a learning lesson for everyone male and female. I dont think hed be right to be furious in many possible scenarios that would still fit what was said in this letter, but there are ones that would which I think would cause justifiable fury. Why do you want to be with such a douchenozzle? Its been done and will continue to be done, as long as accidents, divorce, and death happen. I dont think its necessarily fair. Eh, he knows where babies come from and there are plenty of ways to have an amazing sexual experience that absolutely cannot result in anyone getting pregnant. And you cant have conception without sperm. Its the law. oy. She loved him back then but broke up with him over this but went back to him 20 years later thinking he grew up.2016. All Im advocating is the addition of a requirement that the woman has made a good-faith effort to contact the father-to-be once she found out that she was pregnant and that he didnt opt out of support. But I think that both people have equal responsibility and equal rights in expressing a view. It takes two people to make a baby and two people to decide what to do after one of them gets pregnant. Steve Kellmeyer But condoms should still be used unless the relationship is established and monogamous and both parties are disease-free. What kind of person he got into a new relationship with. he said this is not gonna ruin us, ReginaRey This is not true, and I say this because a (male) friend of mine went through this a few years ago. April 9, 2012, 11:23 am. Im not saying I think he should get any sort of say in it, but why are we so quick to deride his emotional response to an accidental life-altering event that, in his mind, could have been corrected, but isnt going to be due to someone elses decision?